sicky sick and john cusack

I've been sick as a dog the past few days.
I blame a crazy work week (70 hours)for
weakening my immune system. Luckily, I was
scheduled to have a couple days off this
week anyway which I was going to use for
Christmas gift-making but now needed to use
as "rest" which ended up being fun because
all I felt like doing was watching my favorite
John Cusack movie, Say Anything and while I
was on the Cusack/romance kick I also watched
Serendipity which is good too because it's a
holiday time movie. People, do not overlook
this film. I know it's a cheezy romance BUT
it is filled with some truly great moments
and bit parts by Eugene Levy, Molly Shannon,
Jeremy Piven & John Norbitt.


Apparently, I won an award at work this week
and I wasn't there the day the suits decided
to give it to me. So when I went in on Friday
morning all these people were telling me
Congratulations! Wow! I wonder what I won!
It felt strange to thank them for congratulating
me when I didn't even know what for but
it felt good to be noticed all day for something
good.

I want to take this moment to thank my
body for getting sick. It forced me to
slow down and relax. Lately, it feels like
I've been working non-stop crazy hours
and I think I'm so used to it like that
which is a bit scary. So, thank you, body,
for the scratchy throat, the horrid congestion,
the loss of senses such as smell and taste,
the achey joints and phlegmy cough...you
have taught me a great lesson...
that hot tea and John Cusack movies are all
I really need to be happy.

unbelievable

what happens when you get a couple of bored stagehands
with some leftover props hanging around. this is what i do
at work, people. deal with it.

daily life

an owl i made for josh out of an old skirt.
phat grrl
lulu
war protest
a lovely tree that i see everyday.

life is funny.
i've been feeling strange but i like it.
i feel hopeful.

war poetry

Two nights ago I had the great pleasure of meeting and hearing poetry read by soldier/poet Brian Turner. His book of poems called Here,Bullet has garnered numerous awards around the country and rightfully so. The book is full of honest and raw observations of the war in Iraq, where Turner served as a Sergeant.

Brian Turner did things a bit backwards. He received his Masters Degree in English Lit. before joining the military. He has been writing for some time but the experience in Iraq seemed to charge his poetry with something else, something that language can't define. He says in one of his poems, "I have no words of war". Although he so eloquently paints a picture for us, you get the feeling that what he witnessed is, after all, unspeakable. This book is just a slice of it.

I had such a huge, passionate reaction to his poems when I first read the book. Hearing them read aloud sent shivers down my spine. You know why? Because we, citizens of America, never get to hear the soldier's voice or the truth for that matter and when we do hear it, it is shocking. We hear pundits on TV all day long arguing this and that, playing games with each other, saying that they know what's going on in the war. Well, they don't know shit about what's going on. Until you hear it from a soldier's mouth or you go there yourself, you will never know the horrors that come of war.

Brian Turner struck me as a strong and thoughtful man whose eyes hold deep wells of sad memories. A man, not physically wounded in battle, but wounded nonetheless. It would be impossible to come home after seeing the things he saw and not be changed, not to be hurt in some way. Because that is what's human. That is what we are missing in our national discussion. The humanity. There is a massive disconnect going on with this war and I think that it will be a great downfall for the next generation of Americans because they are inheriting a country that has been made to fear their own government, distracted and brainwashed. This is a sad day not just for our country, but for the world.

If you are sick of hearing what everyone thinks they know about war and you'd like to hear some truth you should read Here,Bullet. It's not a political book. It's an observation. You can take what you want from it but it will change you. Mr. Turner posed a great question to a group of students at the poetry reading. He asked, "Just as there are bombs exploding in Iraq, are there not bombs exploding over here, in our minds and in our hearts? If not, why not?"

almond milk!

Since June of this year, I've been making my very own almond milk. It's so very easy, especially if you have a kick-arse blender. I recommend a vita-mix. They are quite pricey but are so damn powerful. I make soups and all sorts of concoctions containing nuts and hard stuff and my blender is always like, "Really? is that all you got?" Seriously. I heart my vita-mix.


Almond Mylk

1 cup raw almonds
4-5 cups of cold, filtered water
2tsp vanilla or almond extract (optional)

(other variations: make chai, or chocolate almond milk, anything you like can be yours!)

You will need a blender and something to filter your milk with (I use a paint strainer bag from home depot, it's re-usable and durable)

*I put the cup of almonds in first, then add about 1 cup of the water(enough to cover almonds) Blend this until creamy(at this point it's almost like almond butter which is also very easy to make)

*Then add another couple cups of water and blend for 20 seconds or so.

*Add some vanilla if you wish and perhaps another cup of water and blend. The water amount really depends on if you want to make creamy milk or not. More water will equal less creamy.

*Line a pitcher with the filter bag and pour the milk in. Most of the milk will go straight through but you will need to do some squeezing to get it all. You will have almond pulp left in the bag. You could save this and use to make a pie crust!

*enjoy on granola, in coffee, whateva you like!

A Psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Tell me not in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou are, to dust thou returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each tomorrow
Find us farther than today.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act, - act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sand of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

it is hot...

i have the cramps, my throat is scratchy, and i am awake. this is not good.

a new day

from here on out i'm only doing what i love.

collage

today

my yoga teacher told me that i had grace. wow.
if she only knew how i've fooled her!

i gave lulu a much needed bath. lavender soap!
she smells so purty now.

i have some good ideas today.
i hope that i will make excellent use of my time.

new york city

i was in new york
a week ago
all i can say is lovely things
about the town
i met cindy at a peace rally
we hugged in the pouring rain
a baptism of sorts
a rebirth
i need to/can do more
for the cause
her energy reminded me
of what matters

my east coast adventure
included a solo amanda palmer show
where she was amazing
and many more adjectives
i really love her
she moves me

train to boston
was a meditation
for me
i listened to music
as i always do on trains
the scenery
becomes a music video
for the song in my ear
i love that
it's unforgettable

i'm taking today off
need to make some raw delights
for my honey and me
we are trying to get this thing going
i need to be strong

think peace
.

Open Letter to Health Insurance Companies

Dear Health Insurance Companies in the US of A,

You suck.


Sincerely,

Us, the people forced into buying your bullshit.


PS.
go see Sicko

teatime in a dream with boy i used to know

a table separating us
two cups of tea
mine half empty already
yours still steaming
the spoon clinks against
the ceramic teacup
as i stir the honey
once more.

you are quiet today
i tell you
i’ve been missing you
for some time
and you only smile
as if you were waiting
all these years
for those words to
finally take flight
outside of me.

i'm sorry i was so scared
& i consistently picked
my mistakes like apples
from unforgiving trees
but mostly
i’m sorry that i forced you
to sit by and watch
while i ran around
trying to catch myself.

mothers day

the living death

in nature, there is no death. from decay life may arise.

i get to thinking about death so often. not in a horrible end-of-it-all way but in a thoughtful, curious, environmental way. a long time ago, i decided i didn't want the traditional "american" burial. i don't want my soul's vessel to be a sack of toxic chemicals stuffed into a sealed-up box and buried. although i've considered cremation, there are still some environmental issues to contend with there-releasing mercury into the air among other things.

i want to be a tree...or at least helping the tree above me live. i want to really go back into the earth, dust to dust and all that. there are such natural cemetaries that are helping people do just that. i think there are about 5 now in north america. i've heard of one in new zealand as well. here are some info links:

naturalburial.org

groovy green video post

grave matters book review

seattle!!

Seattle was good to me last week. It didn't rain once while I was there AND i went to the MOST amazing veggie cafes! i really dig that city.

the Healthy Hedon (southern style deliciousness)
the Wayward Cafe (vegan galore!)
Pizza Pi(all vegan pizzeria-wowzer!)
CyberDogs (all veggie hotdogs!!! yum!)

the lunatic is in the grass.

busy busy week working at the theatre & at the school. i had to go back to do a re-shoot for the video they have me working on. can't wait to get paid so i can plan a vacation! here are some links for the week. the classic album live folks performed at my theatre. they did dark side of the moon and it was amazingly radical.

classic albums live rocks!

10 things I've learned by milton glaser

wreck this journal page by keri smith

martha graham on being an artist

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.
And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable it is nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.
You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you.
Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive.

-martha graham

i spy...

spring is on the way. i can feel a positive change happening.

anais nin

my latest collage. inspired by/in tribute to anais nin.
16X20 canvas
paper, tissue, thread, glue, paint, net mesh.

february so far...

our cat, Phat Grrl. clouds. vegetables for the pot pie. pleasure island. feasting with good friends. two jars of pesto i whipped up. the Perfect Sheese. tulips.

i've been having a sexy, gorgeous food month. i have always loved cooking but i've never been so connected to food as i am right now & therefore i have been making delicious, beautiful meals. this newfound connection is sparking a passion that is bringing so much woman out of me. i feel beautiful, motherly, spicy, etc!! i put music on in the kitchen and make a huge & glorious mess. lately, it's the shins new album while i cook. i love the recipes that are long and tedious. many raw recipes are like that. the other day i made "raw samosas". i made them in the morning because they have to dehydrate for 6 hours (if you've ever eaten raw cuisine you know it's worth it). in the evening we enjoyed them when matt & alicia came over. then i made a vegetable pot pie that took about 3 hours to make. i even made the crust from scratch which was very satisfying to me. josh said it was the best thing i've made yet. i think he was just hungry but i do stand by the idea that using only organic, local vegetables makes your food taste better. i also so enjoy the process of making healthy,luxurious food that people will love and i think my enjoyment of the making it puts good energy into it. i love presenting food. and then i love feasting on it for hours. a good glass of wine always helps too.

BUT, the best news of the month so far is that i found The Best Vegan Cheese EVER!~!!!! it's from Scotland and it's called Sheese. I order it from Vegan Essentials. remarkable indeed!