Friday, February 26, 2010

book excerpt

If a person leads an "active" life, as Wiggs had, if a person has goals, ideals, a cause to fight for, then that person is distracted, temporarily, from paying a whole lot of attention to the heavy scimitar that hangs by a mouse hair just above his or her head. We, each of us, have a ticket to ride, and if the trip be interesting (if it's dull, we have only ourselves to blame), then we relish the landscape (how quickly it whizzes by!), interact with our fellow travelers, pay frequent visits to the washrooms and concession stands, and hardly ever hold up the ticket to the light where we can read its plainly stated destination: The Abyss.

Yet, ignore it though we might in our daily toss and tussle, the fact of our impending death is always there, just behind the draperies, or, more accurately, inside our sock, like a burr that we can never quite extract. If one has a religious life, one can rationalize one's slide into the abyss; if one has a sense of humor (and a sense of humor, properly developed, is superior to any religion so far devised), one can minimalize it through irony and wit. Ah, but the specter is there, night and day, day in and day out, coloring with its chalk of gray almost everything we do. And a lot of what we do is done, subconsciously, indirectly, to avoid the thought of death, or to make ourselves so unexpendable through our accomplishments that death will hesitate to take us, or, when the scimitar finally falls, to insure that we "live on" in the memory of the lucky ones still kicking.

from Jitterbug Perfume, by Tom Robbins, Bantam 1984, page 249

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Nurse Janie

my sweet dog-friend, Lulu, has been sick. she has been fighting an autoimmune disease that we have been treating since february. on top of that, a couple of weeks ago she developed a Huge-Ass hematoma in her ear flap which required surgery. on top of that, the drainage tube they inserted fell out and they had to do Another Surgery and on top of that, after the second surgery she came home with kennel cough. the poor pup has been on Crazy-Ass drugs and has been tired, weak and depressed. i've become her nurse, diligently wiping away her snot, cleaning up puke, and monitoring her every move to make sure she's getting enough water, food and love. poor puppy. today she feels better. I stayed home from work so she wouldn't be alone.

during the past week, when she's been at her sickest, my maternal spirit really came out to shine. I turned into mama bear, my heart bursting out of my chest with love for my baby. not having any children, i guess this as close as i can get right now to being a mama. all I have done is think of her, staying up late researching her condition, finding a holistic vet, giving her everything i've got. it has felt good to nurture her as now i can see she is feeling better. i was thinking last night about how my body has reacted to her sickness, how at first i felt helpless and cried each time i looked at her little snotty face, thinking about how sad i would be if i lost her. i do not want to be the person that puts such negative and selfish thoughts out into the universe. i let myself have one major breakdown then i snapped into major focus. i've been babying her with such intensity i want to baby everyone now. i called my mom to see how she was feeling, if she needed anything. i called my friend jeannie, who is a pediatric nurse, and told her how amazing i think she is for doing the job she does, what a big huge loving heart it takes to be a nurse!

also, i've been watching Nurse Jackie on showtime. i love it. alas, i'm not a pill-popping nurse like jackie but i am damn crazy so it all works out!

here's a video i made for Lulu the year we adopted her...2004! Music by Belle & Sebastian. Get better soon, dear girl!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Foxy!


I found this old advertisement in a Historical Photos folder on a hard drive at work. I love it. It makes me happy. That couple is pretty foxy for sure!

Last weekend was pretty dynamic. I wrote a song on my ukulele. I've never written a full song before so this was a nice surprise. I surprised myself. The song is about my sniffling dog who has a bit of a cold and has been popping pills all week. Josh says he will record it for me so I can post it here, but that won't be for a couple weeks.

La Luna was full on Saturday night. She was quite Incredible and bright. And I got my period that night, too, so I feel very earthy about that. Being in tune with the moon and all. Maybe this going to be a good month for me.

I had a Big Conversation about an Exciting Opportunity that might turn into something real for me.

I drank wine, ate homemade hummus, and wrote a long letter to my English friend, Felix, who recently sent me two of the best mixtapes I've ever received! I love sharing music and discovering all kinds of new sounds. I'm working on finishing her cds up so I can send them over to her quick!

Finally, on Mother's Day, I rode the train with my Mum, my Dad, my Sis, my Bro-In-Law and my two beautiful nieces. We went to San Juan Capistrano, had lunch, and wandered around the old Mission. The gardens are so beautiful there. They are growing all kinds of veggies. I really want to be home-growing right now but my yard is way too shady at the moment. Maybe next year? Yes, next year sounds good.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

wild things, excitement like love




i am officially over the moon with excitement after finally seeing the trailer for the upcoming film "Where the Wild Things Are". when they went into pre-production a couple years ago, i was frantic about who was taking on this film since it is one of the most beloved children's books of All Time. happily, i discovered it was none other than spike jonze(Adaptation, Being John Malkovich) directing, dave eggers(A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, McSweeney's founder) co-writing and a bunch of great actors along for the ride (Catherine Keener, Mark Ruffalo, James Gandolfini)

I Am Super Excited. the release date is October 16, 2009. when i watched the trailer this morning, i actually had the fluttering feeling in my stomach,the kind you get when you feel In Love. Oh, it's just too much!

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Weekly Inspiration

This past week I've been eating a lot of delicious food, reading, and in general just enjoying the Down Time after 2 months of hell at work. I need to get back to the grind as I have a video due by the end of March for the school I'm working with. Basically, this week I've been tuning in and becoming a sponge so I can soak up as much information as I can. I feel ravenous about learning right now. There is a quote of Henry Miller's that I just thought of
Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.


So here are a couple videos that I found uber-inspiring this week. Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat,Pray,Love at the latest TED conference which I could've gone to because it was just over in Long Beach but I didn't so I'm stuck watching the videos online which I suppose might be better because it's free. I had put off reading Miss Gilbert's book because I generally shy away from the popular, mainstream top seller thingamajigs but the book was a gift from my mom so I read it. And I loved it. I connected with it on many levels, being a woman who also traveled alone. So the book is good but after watching this TED clip, I find the author to be fascinating.

Elizabeth Gilbert at TED


& John Cage's Water Walk. I found this clip at wish jar


John Cage inspires me. I love how methodically he performs this piece, with stop clock in hand all the while looking dapper in a suit. So classy. Some people in the audience are laughing, I suppose some of it is hilarious, some of it possibly invokes nervous laughter from people not used to experimental sound but I personally found it beautiful and soothing. It makes me want to walk around the kitchen banging and clinking things.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Oh, George. I miss you!

Comedian, Philosopher, Social Commentator, Wise Old Sage, George Carlin has passed away at 71. I've spent much of the past week since his death thinking about how he made me laugh, think, get angry and sad. He made my inner maniac fell much less alone! I miss you, George. We all do.